A Poem by James McIntyre

E-Verse Radio published this wonderful snippet:

A reader writes in on a link from last Friday:

"I have a prized little volume called Very Bad Poetry, edited by Kathryn Petras and Ross Petras (Vintage Books, 1997) that contains some hilarious and varied examples of doggerel, including several works by J. Gordon Coogler, king of 'while-you-wait' poetry, ('How Strange Are Dreams!'; 'God Correctly Understood') and Canadian cheese-ophile (in more than one sense) James McIntyre. Here is his 'Ode on the Mammoth Cheese', based
on an actual four ton chunk of cheese displayed in Toronto circa 1855, according to the editors:"


Ode on the Mammoth Cheese
Weighing over 7,000 pounds

We have seen thee, queen of cheese,
Lying quietly at your ease,
Gently framed by evening breeze,
Thy fair form no flies dare seize.

All gaily dressed soon you'll go
To the great Provincial show,
To be admired by many a beau
In the city of Toronto.

Cows numerous as a swarm of bees,
Or as the leaves upon the trees,
It did require to make thee please,
And stand unrivaled, queen of cheese.

May you not receive a scar as
We have heard that Mr. Harris
Intends to send you off as far as
The great world's show at Paris.

Of the youth beware of these,
For some of them might rudely squeeze
And bite your cheek, then songs or glees
We could not sing, oh! queen of cheese.

We'rt thou suspended from balloon,
You'd cast a shade even at noon,
Folks would think it was the moon
About to fall and crush them soon.