Snapshot

I am on a poetry list - poetry etc - on which each Wednesday we post a 'snapshot' poem - a kinda instant poem for the day, originally created so all the many poets from many nations could tell about the weather and their living conditions on that day. It has gone on for many a year, and I can supply a few sites to view the poems on, but firstly here is my snapshot from yesterday. You'll notice (or maybe you won't) that it has no commas. We have been having a conversation about punctuation in poetry recently, so I wrote this poem - then went through and denuded it of any commas. I think it works, and perhaps its 'music' or its 'sound' is clearer for not having commas. I leave it up to you to judge.

SNAPSHOT 6 October 2004


Spring sprinkle outside but I'm in
deeply engrossed in first draft mode

words a-plenty coming out
like a Tony William's solo when

a giant *smash*! from the front yard
followed by silence and a plaintive voice

asking, 'Are you all right, mate?'
twisted metal but no blood.

Maori postman on the ground
scooter lying sideways on the drive

letters and packages spilling onto the road ...
I bring him a seat with a floral cushion on it

but he stands and swings his damaged leg
keeping the muscles warm ...

'Been hit harder than this!' he boasts,
and the driver and I obediently go 'Yeah?!'

'Yeah,' he says, 'on the footy field ...'
and swings his leg again to make a point.


Now, here are some addresses to view snapshots over the years:
Wild Honey Press (http://www.wildhoneypress.com , under poetryetc projects)
The Drunken Boat ( http://www.thedrunkenboat.com/poetryetc/snapstitle.html)
The most recent are archived at http://www.geocities.com/poetryetcetera/