Thank goodness for the Washington Post's annual neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.
Some of the winners this year:
Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you
have gained.
Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat
stomach.
Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent
Thanks, Felicity.
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